Skipper wins Twat of the Month Award

While waiting for tide to turn at Ullapool. We had a really crap meal, served with even more crap customer service with a smattering of contempt from thee most horrible lady at the Ferry Boat Inn. Thanks missus you must do the tourist industry in Ullapool wonders.

Dylan was so bored with the meal he turned to Mosaic pattern making with recycled beach just to relieve the hunger pains or potential food poisoning from raw burgers.

A very gorgeous cruise out to the islands with perfect sea conditions, we can be on the island in 30 mins from Ullapool.

Having wakened up twice now, only to find the boat has dragged its anchor and is not where we left it, this has made me rethink my strategy on anchors and sandy bottoms.

Now i just rig a rope across the whole bay and tie the boat in da middle, id hate to have phone into work to say I'm stranded on an island with no way to get back-honest.

Dylan has developed a passion for photography it seems, most of these landscape and wildlife pics are all his, and i have to say I'm quite impressed with some of them.

I just manged to wake the belayer enough to get a route in - a proper bloody battle ensued with much skin donated by myself on the sickeningly twisted jamming sections.

A very tricky and pumpy little number - way steeper than it looked from the abb or the belay stance. very high quality climbing with a "oh shit im comin off" crux

Man i do feel good when Robert struggles on something, he missed the best hold on the roof and pulled on some sick slopey edges and went up and down a few times, desperate not to fall off

Obviously the headless strong boy just used all the shit holds anyway, but me - well i needed a full five minute sit down rest after the roof.

I sat here gasping for air for ages, almost bitten of more than i could chew, i couldn't lift my arms above my head never mind pull on anything- so i sat for a while longer

Totally boxed but grinning, i wobbled to the top.

E4 6A *** Heart-Stopper

If your lucky with the weather, being out on this part of the west coast is like being on the med, apart from the fact that the water will freeze your nuts off on contact.

Dylan spent ages trying to get Bird photos.

Artic Skua or Bonksie and they do attack you, if you stray near their ground nests.

While Robert and i, cleaned the roof exit line and looked at the beast roof from a rope, Mhairi got a spot of fishin in.

We decided after looking at the big roof traverse, that falling in was most definitely going to be on the menu, anyone who steps up to this traverse, onsight is probably falling off and the hard section of climbing has no gear that we could see.

Team Mack decided that DWS was the way forward and we all had a go at the traverse but its 50ft of the water, and i just could not commit to the last irreversible section, i knew that if i continued along the traverse, id get stuck and have to jump in or worse have to climb the route.




Robert was put to work but with such expectations, he also kept chickening out, " come on Team" we are not applying ourselves here. Dylan in his wetsuit even though he was shorter and more mobile under the roof, kept going out to the hard section and squawking "im coming back"




I fully admit i was shitting it to fall in, one of my best mates drowned last year and this has definitely developed into a fear of the water, iv never had this mental issue before its really weird even scared wakeboarding this year mabee im just gettin old and soft.

Grrrrr feck i so want this project-- right back to the boat for some lunch and a rethink of the strategy.

It was decided by myself and Robert, that we should try to top rope if possible just to check the gear possibility's and exactly how hard the moves were. The anchors at the top are few and not that easy to find and the rock doesn't seem that sturdy on the top, with quite a lot of blocks that are loose

The tourists on the summer queen, gasped as their mad skipper drove his boat, right into the cave. then he slammed it into reverse and rodded it out of the cave backwards. Glad we wernt on the route when he arrived.

Dylan the sucker, tied into the rope and was totally up for testing the top rope, Robert and myself had erected with only 8 load shared bits of gear, i even set it up with gri gri and a separate belay for the belayer, we then lowered Dylan into the abyss down towards a waiting rubber dinghy and Robert rowed him into the start of the traverse.

I giggled to Mhairi as i lowered Dylan to the dinghy " he has no fekin idea what he has signed up for here" Robert had explained the plan, he thought there may be chance that Dylan could hit the opposite wall, so we were going to drop him straight into the sea if he fell at the start, Robert would signal when to belay for real.

Robert appeared out from the cave, he gave a big thumbs up, this was the signal, Dylan was now past the point of no return and i could lock the rope off if he fell, "the boy is truly stone mental" i said to Mhairi "he will be half way to Skye when he comes off here"

Robert shouted some encouragement at Dylan and he wobbled out past his previous high point, the rope from me at the top disappeared way, way in under the massive roof and i had no way to tell how things were going with the very brave climber battling underneath me.

Suddenly the rope went tight and the belay strained , within a second Dylan appeared out from under me, rocketing towards the isle of Skye, accelerating out and up, he was almost level with me as he started the big big swing back in under the roof, i watched with my arse clamping just as hard as if it was me on the end of the rope,

When the crazy boy swung back under me for the first time the rope rubbed on an edge, a puff of dust appeared in the air, almost like a smoke trail, instantly i knew the rope was being damaged so lowered a meter, I gasped "shit" as Dylan appeared on the horizon for a second time, he looked up and shouted "whats wrong" "nah its cool, bud no pobs" i lied.






We lowered him down to Robert and they both scrambled up the slabs, only to find me and Mhairi, sitting wide eyed, examining a very very chewed rope, the damage was right through the sheath and a good chunk out of the core, i honestly reckon had it been fat Robert or myself on that rope, it would have cut through it.


Dylan just shrugged it off and said "well that was fun"

Mad boy explained that when he let go, he had some difficulty in breathing and G force on his lungs during the huge compression swing meant he couldn't even scream.



So we have now decided that top roped trials, under mad huge roofs are probably not best practice and repaeted days like this will probably thin team mack down quite quickly.

Mhairi decided that fishing was the way forward, and promptly caught some diner.

Dylan continued on his pursuit of the perfect photo


Watching a small but tall ship pass us, i thought it would be a great sailing, youth prison.

Iv got a chart plotter to warn of hiden or not so hidden dangers, cost me a fortune but it is a great tool, you can clearly see how i just drove staight into a fekin island.



TWAT !